confronting


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Posted by ann on October 30, 1998 at 09:26:47:

I thought I was the last person on earth for this to happen to me but it did. The affair that my husband had was with a younger woman who I knew, had been in my home, and worked for me. When he got caught he immediately ended it, ( it lasted about 8 months), we never told anyone. I have suffered the pain for almost two years. I have been able to handle keeping it between us because of the unbearable pain it would cause my children and family. My husband has always been a wonderful father and loving person. I know that he is truly sorry and he has
done everything possible to help me and our marriage. I have never doubted that he loved me I guess that is why I've stayed. What I have not been able to handle is not confronting the other woman and letting her know what damage she did to me and my husband for the rest of our lives. My husband takes full responsibility for doing this but what I can't understand is that she never had to suffer for anything she did. Her husband never found out and he still works for us, which causes me much sadness and a sense of being dishonest to him. If I did what I wanted to I would post it in the paper and let all her family know what she really is. It is also not just because she wanted my husband, she was also very munipulating and cunning. She positioned herself in ways that she knew it would be hard to resist her and
did so in while I was paying her salary. She is alot younger than me and I know in time she may suffer some things in her marriage also, but in the meantime
I have to run into her. It take every ounce of strength
I have not to confront her, but if I decide to do this I will have to see my children suffer. They have a great relationship with their Dad and he has devoted his life to them. My husband knows how I feel and he has told me from the beginning that I needed to do what I had to do in order to live with this. He was willing to let everyone know about what happened when he first told me one and 1/2 years ago. The relationship didn't get as far as the actually normal sex act but kissing and hugging occurred and phone calls. Should I just try to forget this girl and move on or will this be something I will never be able to overcome, I have always been an honest person and I know this is why it is making all this harder. Does her husband deserve to know what she is like?
Is it worth all the pain my kids will go through just for me to get even with her? Why do I feel the need to see her go through some pain? I never have wished pain or suffering on anyone in my whole life and I hate the fact that I even feel this way? When I see her with her husband I just want to go over and say had any affairs lately? Why have I not been able to let this go even though I feel secure with my husband?
I would love to get any advice from anyone who could help.


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